Mai's Counseling and Advice Corner~

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tentei No Mai, Aug 12, 2011.

  1. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

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    Need some help with decisions? How about a couple of suggestions on how to mend rifts in your relationships? Or maybe you just need a tender ear? Either way, this thread is for you! I'll do my best to provide some sound advice that'll make Dr. Phil seem like Maury.

    Warning: I am in no way responsible for homicidal/suicidal actions that may arise.
  2. Cletus Well-Known Member

    I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. What do I do now? I'm afraid those pesky police are going to stick their filthy hands in my desert.
  3. PKT Forever /a/lone

    I found a big dinosaur egg outside...what do I do with it? It's covered in green circular spots and it shakes a bit too.
  4. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Cletus,
    I will not ask why on good heaven did you shoot the bastard, so I'll proceed by telling you to quickly dispose the body. Cut the body into "workable" pieces and prepare a vat of corrosive substances such as lye and sulfuric acid to dissolve the remains as best you can. Make sure to wear gloves, a hair net, and other items that will help reduce the amount of evidence you leave behind. Basically, you want to destroy any evidence that would link you to the murder and you'll definitely want a fabricated, but solid alibi just in case. If the guy isn't exactly...important, such as a random bum or hooker, you may be able to get away with it as long as you take care of things. Also, assuming that you own whatever desert you're speaking of...I definitely wouldn't hide the remains there. Oh, do you have anyone that's a "likely" suspect? If so, plant the evidence along with PCP and other items on his/her person and casually drum up attention towards the target. Good luck getting away with it, sir!

    Dear Pie,
    How big is the egg? If it's about twice the size of a standard bowling ball you may be able to hatch it yourself and raise the creature as a pet. Be sure to feed it well or it may start to use random objects and possibly humans for its' meal. Once it reaches a certain point in growth try to teach it how to cultivate its eggs and how to use a go kart since you may be able to profit from it.
  5. Rainbow Deluxe Duchess of All Things Pretty and Music

    Hmn, I don't need any advice at the moment, but when I think of something, I'll put it in this thread!
  6. PKT Forever /a/lone

    I think I'll hatch it and call it Yoshi. My other problem is this pink guy who talks like a baby keeps eating all of my food and friends. What do I do oh, great Mai-sama.
  7. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Pie,

    Why do you allow such an abomination near you and yours in the first place? Ask yourself this, "am I unable to detach myself from things?". If so, then you may have an issue with letting things go even if they are bad for you. Destroy your connection to that flesh-colored blob by luring him away from civilization with the use of...oh, I don't know, star blocks and juicy fruit. Once it is out of public view feed him a male prostitute that is suffering from all sorts of diseases and watch as that vile Maury-special dies a slow and miserable death since we all know that unprotected blowing leads to swallowing which leads to Super Aids. Good luck, sir!
  8. PKT Forever /a/lone

    Serious question now...How do I keep people from trying to pressure me into dating? I mean there's some people I like but I'm not ready for anything and I don't for see myself wanting that kind of action anytime soon. I mean it's not like I have a bunch of people who want to date me as far as I know but I do have some people who seem to thinkI can only be happy while as I see it, serving someone else
  9. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Pie,

    I can only speak from personal experience and from what I've read/heard that seemed like good advice, so please bear with me! For the most effective approach it seems to rely on the kind of people you're dealing with. If your relatives/friends (for whom you actually care about) are the culprits you can start by kindly letting them know that although you appreciate the concern you are okay with your single status and would like for the nagging to cease. However, if they persist you may have to get a little snippy with them to highlight how annoying they are being. Not everyone considers a relationship to be vital towards happiness, because let's face it: if your heart isn't into it you'll only end up hurting yourself and someone else. Comments like "gee, enough about me, how are YOU doing with the love game, because it seems to me you're trying to use my singlehood as either a distraction or to invite more misery" could work, though if you're dealing with sensitive types...there may be a minor backlash.

    However, if they are people that are more like...associates, you can always tell them to fuck off. Some people ought to mind their own business. Really, it's all about speaking up and clearly voicing your issues.

    You don't have to explain yourself any further than "someday I might feel like dating, but I'm not going to die from loneliness, so it's all gravy". Only you can determine when it is the right time for you to spread your wings and seek companionship, because in order to find the right someone...you'll have to be extremely lucky to get it right the first or second time, or constantly working towards building connections, mucking through failed attempts, and other things. It is work and stress, even more so if you're not exactly Mr. Facebook or Hipster Chick, but once you're ready...it'll be worth it, because it will help you grow and eventually find someone for whom you truly care deeply for. Your people need to understand that unlike...say, a serious drug addiction or severe depression...you don't require some intervention to keep yourself from offing yourself. Accidentally or otherwise. Being with someone just because of pressure or whatever will only result in ruin.

    Um, hope I was able to help! Feel free to go into detail or to ask further questions!
  10. Rainbow Deluxe Duchess of All Things Pretty and Music

    I have this friend who I recently decided that I was going to leave the past behind us and just, start a clean slate, pretty much. The problem is, is that I still cannot seem to talk to them randomly. Because whenever I talk to them first, they usually seem disinterested in talking to me, only ever seeming to be interested when they talk to me, first. Which is usually why I wait for others to talk to me first. So that way I know that they're not busy, that I will actually have their full attention, etc. However, I'm scared for two things. The first one, I'm scared that if I don't talk to them all the time, if I wait for them to talk to me first, they'll get bored with me and stop wanting to talk to me. On the other hand, I'm also scared that if I do talk to them, they'll end up getting sick of me, and also wanting to stop talking to me that way, too. So, the advice I'm looking for is pretty much, what do you think I should do? Just push myself onto them, wait them out, or maybe even do a little bit of both?
  11. Nazo Moderator

    Just don't talk to them lol. What are you doing? Looking for another bf? <_>

    whore.
  12. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Nekoko-chan,

    It seems that you're having a bit of a dilemma with friendship! Being able to leave things in the past in order to forge a new bond shows strength and consideration, but sometimes that can become a...let's say, a one-way street. There are a few methods for handling this situation even though they are not what one would call...a Xanatos Gambit (forgive me, I've recently got into tvtropes), so you may not be able to get exactly what you want. However, if that's the case the chances are that it is due to your friend(s) interference.

    1. A heart-to-heart talk with your friend(s) could allow for some good old fashioned truth telling. Maybe your friend(s) are worried about getting hurt or possibly even testing you to see if you are serious about re-befriending. Or maybe he/she/it just aren't sure if they want the friendship in the first place and is too lazy/bothered to even say it. Or maybe it's in your head (1 percent chance of THAT being the case, dear). The point is, by making your problems clear with them in a non-accusatory way (it'll just make them dodge the issue and become testy) you can start to see what your friend(s) really want since friendship must be a give AND take, not one or the other. However, if they say things like "oh, sorry, I'll try harder. I'm such a loser *thunks self in head*" and still repeat the same bullshit...well, cut. them. off. You are capable and deserving of friendship that doesn't involve begging and attention getting, goddammit.

    2. What I've noticed is that with most people...if they really want to talk with you (and aren't busy/now that you're around) they will eventually get to you. Otherwise, it's one-sided, so don't worry about when to contact them first. If anything, let's see if they contact you and how they like it when you're way too into whatever it is that you're doing to give them a proper conversation. Keep it to a minimum to avoid becoming vindictive, though some people can only realize their actions by having them thrown right back at them. By then, it will be clear to see if you should continue trying to reach BFF status with them or not.

    3. Sometimes, you just have to cut your losses. Maybe you've already thought long and hard about what you want and how you feel about this predicament. Is it really worth it when I can use that time on making new buddies or giving to the buddies that actually give a damn? Since this isn't about being popular or becoming the Mary Sue of Twitter (no, I'm not sure I know what that means either >_>), it's safe to say that you care about the friendship. Don't waste love points on fuckers that can't appreciate it. Tell yourself "fuck them hos, I'm independent as hell and too damn good a conversationalist for this shit" and let them go. After all, if they are really your amigos they will come back...if not, they were never yours to begin with.

    Those are three methods that you might find to be helpful. Remember, put some thought into it before you decide, but you can always combine parts of those methods to create something that works best for you. Good luck!
  13. PKT Forever /a/lone

    What would happen if goku went super saiyan 4 inside of gurren lagann?
  14. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Pie,

    I'm guessing either there will be a time paradox where it will take at least 6 episodes for their to be any progress with the power up or the sheer amount of gar that is Gurren Lagann may somehow infect Goku giving us Garku and, well...how creepy would that be?
  15. PKT Forever /a/lone

    I have a bunch of creative stuff I want to do and ideas and creativity seem to be my main gift in life. I hear I should go to college from a lot of people but I suck around new people especially the attractive womenfolk. I forget things a lot that need to be remembered and I procrastinate a lot too. I start a lot of thing and though I finish a bunch, I still leave a lot unfinished til I can better work on them.

    My question to you is do you think I can really make it in college. I think I wanna take a few classes and see how it goes.
  16. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Pie,

    The short-answer to your question is yes, I think you can make it. Honestly, you can deal with strangers, memory woes, and procrastination as long as you're determined to work on it. These days there are a variety of approaches you can take with school, so before signing up for a few classes to see if you can do it...make sure you know what you really want to get out of the experience, including what kind of degree you want that will lead to the kind of job that you would want or like to do.

    During my college days I wasn't quite sure on EXACTLY what I wanted, because even when I was 5 I knew school wouldn't end after 12th grade. In fact, I actually believed that there was such a thing as 13-16 grade because of my father. Anyway, I just went through my classes and just decided on psychology, because that's my favorite subject and I liked the idea of carrying out research. That, and helping others with their issues seemed appealing. By the time I got my degree it became clear to me that I just didn't know what I was getting myself into, because I didn't take it as seriously as I should. Mind you, I'm happy with my job and all, but it seemed like I was better off minoring in psychology and majoring in something more practical >__>. So, be clear and honest about what you want before enrolling to avoid wasting time and money.

    Once you put some thought into it I definitely recommend going to say...technical college where classes are cheaper and can transfer to a university if you're aiming for a bachelor's. Really, just do the research on your school of choice and make sure its accredited! You do not want to dump six months or four years into something that is not worth the paper the degree was printed on =__=. Still, I highly recommend going to school, because we live in a very certification happy society. Degrees are the new diploma in terms of minimum job requirements most of the time!
  17. Codfish Sacrifice Theory

    My family is driving me crazy. So crazy that even a mere seven days remaining seems too many.
  18. Tentei No Mai Bitch Pudding!

    Dear Stephers,

    Well, you'll be getting the hell out soon enough, so try and get in touch with your happy torture chamber...er, place. Imagine your relatives suffering at the hands of Pyramid Head as you giggle in glee with a favorite beverage and snack in tow. Think positively and definitely think deadly!
  19. Codfish Sacrifice Theory

    Haha, will do, thanks, Mai-senpai. ^^
  20. FooAnna Member

    I am lactose intolerant but i luhhhhsss CHEESEEEE. LOTS AND LOTS OF CHEEEESSSSEEE. what do i do?

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