I can't post this anywhere else

Discussion in 'The Black Hole' started by Codfish, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Codfish Sacrifice Theory

    And it's too big to carry by myself. I promised, I swore, that I wouldn't tell anyone here, and I need to post this, and I'm sorry that it's here, I'm sorry. But like I said... I need to tell and I can't anywhere else.
    I have major feelings for a guy here, Jamel. I've had them since the beginning of the school year. I knew that he didn't return my feelings. I knew it. But we became essentially fuck buddies. Because his thoughts were, "Yeah, I definitely find you attractive, and you have qualities I like in a girl, a lot of them, actually. But I would only fuck you, never date you." I was cool with that, surprisingly.
    He has feelings for an RA on the first floor, my friend, Kate. He didn't think anything would happen with that, but I knew if they both got drunk and were together alone, things would happen. Things happened as I predicted. He told me the things that transpired last night. A few details I didn't want to know, but I did ask what was bothering him. Before they went to sleep, he asked her out, essentially. And she said yes. Though they were both very drunk, and about to go to sleep. So he texted her asking if that still stood. Last I heard, he didn't have an answer.
    I can't help but feel... really hurt. But what I think hurts the most is being just so incredibly stupid. Stupid because I didn't get over this sooner. Stupid because I asked knowing exactly what the answer would be.
    I'm really trying to be happy for him. I really am. Because I care about him just so much, and I wish for nothing for him but happiness. He's really a cool guy and deserves to be happy. I just wish I could be.
    Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get it out of my system.
  2. Venom Well-Known Member

    This kind of thing can tear a person apart...believe me, I know. Honestly...I wish I had advice for you, but I don't, really. I will say that the fact you were able to get it off your chest by putting it into writing is certainly a step in the right direction, though. It never hurts to lighten your burden to make the road ahead easier to travel...and the only way to move on is to free your mind of the things that were holding you back from being happy in the first place.

    On an unrelated note, I don't suspect you were expecting anyone to reply to this, or even see it, and in truth I didn't come here to check for new posts, I came for something else...but...I just thought I'd just offer a few words, as a friend. :)
  3. PKT Forever /a/lone

    Eh, have no clue what I can say to help but you have my support. Always do. Always will. I don't know myself what could help you get over your feelings about someone but spending less time thinking about it might help. Maybe find some kind of replacement activity to take their place or whatnot. Hope this helps...
  4. Rainbow Deluxe Duchess of All Things Pretty and Music

    Stephy, I can tell you from personal experience that there is no easy way to get over someone. It really only just happens. One minute you're doing nothing but pining for them, the next minute you're able to get through the day without them crossing your mind at all. Unfortunately for me, the only way I've ever really gotten over someone is because someone else stepped into my life. For example, I only stopped having feelings for Drew because I realized I was in love with Chris. I know this isn't really helpful, but I guess all I can really say is you just have to give it time. Who knows, maybe Jamel and Kate won't work out together and he'll realize he has feelings for you.
  5. Nazo Moderator

    Yet another story that gives more merit to the phrase, "Girls can't be in a FWB relationship."

    I've never had any experience with being a fuck buddy, though the thought of it is pretty rad. Unfortunately, I'm not so lucky, and I'm not single anymore. But, even so, I don't really have any female friends, let alone any females that would WANT to be fuck buddies with me. That's really my own fault in being self-conscious and just overall being a dumbass for most of my life, but that's me.

    You, well, you had a good run, and I've always told you you seemed a bit to clingy. That type of 'friendship' isn't something for you. Women are completely different from men. Women have a trigger in their minds that make them forever be attached to someone when they have sex. I'm not making this up, look it up. Then there are the men, whom can have sex with anything that moves and not at all be attracted mentally to that person. That's why most men fantasize about other people or other 'activities' while in the act of sex. This is fact for every guy, even one in complete love for the person they're with at the time. Really there's no easy way to say it. Yes, you were stupid. Yes, you walked right into this slam-down knowing full-well what would happen. But, on the other hand, you made a mistake that lots of people make, so what? You're good. You'll get over it in time. But look on the bright-side. When it comes down to it, people want a boy/girlfriend for ONE reason. One simple reason that is so many times denied by everyone in the world including myself. The goal to a relationship is sex. Plain and simple. Both genders love and want it. So think of the bright side; you got his cock many times. No one can take that away. Lol. Don't get me wrong. People don't get into a relationship just for the soul reason to fuck, but rather they want a companion, a person to talk to, and all that good jazz. Someone to come home to is my main reason. I'm truly blessed to have someone waiting on me. To know that if I died, someone would care more than my family. I'm just saying; SEX IS the ultimate goal. It's the final thing you do before you 'KNOW' someone. So congrats lol.

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